So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
