you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
