Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
