You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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