then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
