Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do herpes really smell.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
