Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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