hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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