R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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