why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
