i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
