So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He keeps bees of course he's weird
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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