i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
