Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
smell my finger.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize