hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
