i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
