It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
