I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
