I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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