well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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