she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
