We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
