Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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