An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
be right there i have to get my cape
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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