I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
