I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
should my penis look like a turkey
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
