Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
