I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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