Duck Duck Cougar?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
