my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
