I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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