good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
