I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
