I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
