We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
