I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
