You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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