I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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