I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Everything about him screamed your future.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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