You're my little dorito
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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