Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
