i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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