Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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