is your mom at the bar?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
