so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Non-Jews are for practice
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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