Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
