So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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