I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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