The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
