yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
