I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
