so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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