I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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