so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
