hell yes lets make some ravioli
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
