Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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