If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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