dude i'm inner monologue high
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
