she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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