would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
