I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
